Old Movie Buffs

You know you might be a real fan of old movies when:

Though cable news channels constantly cover the latest news about Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, or anybody on American Idol, you still have no idea who they are talking about.

When the only thing about watching the Oscars on TV that interests you is what old timer is going to win some honorary award.

When the only people you recognize on the Oscar telecast are in the memoriam reel of performers who died in the preceding year.

You feel really bad about the performers dying in the preceding year.

You use words like “swell” in your speech to indicate approval.

When you and your spouse go to bed, one of you keeps at least one foot on the floor at all times.

You list the cast and put end credits on your vacation videos.

You put a Max Steiner score on your vacation videos.

You know who Max Steiner is.

You know who James Wong Howe, Gregg Toland, and Edith Head are, and any of the Westmores, and you can recite the film technicians’ names on any movie the way your kid can recite the starting lineup of a favorite baseball team.