Forty-three guests for Thanksgiving and you forgot how to roast a turkey? Don't fall apart. Listen to me. Here's what you do.
First, get a grip. Say a quick prayer. Or just stand there wondering what that spot on the ceiling is.
Get the stuff out of the fridge. Ignore the guy who just came in the kitchen, or else put him to work.
Sautee the onions and celery. Come on, come on. We haven't got all day.
Stuff the turkey. Any way you can, even if it's not pretty.
See? Nothing to it. Now go change. And do something with your hair. They just pulled in the driveway.
Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow Americans. Now tell me who these cooks are and from what movies? Answers next week.